Mothers recall dark days of childbirth in lockdown

No meeting up with friends from antenatal classes, no Baby Rhyme Time at local libraries, no family visitors - women who had babies as the pandemic began had very little support because of Covid restrictions.

A London Assembly Health Committee review of pandemic pregnancy care, said that more than three quarters of the 110,000 women who gave birth in London in 2020, are believed to have done so without their partner's support.

Three women from London reflect on this life-changing experience five years on and how it's changed their outlook.

Deborah Pearson was two weeks past her due date and because of a heart condition, couldn't have the drugs used to induce labour, so she had a planned Caesarean.

Felix arrived with some fanfare on 5 July 2020. It was the 72nd anniversary of the NHS and at 5pm, a nationwide "Clap for Carers" played from the radio in the operating room. Deborah's little boy was being born to applause, which she says was "magical and incredible".

"It was a key moment in NHS history and the people who should have been maybe taking a break to get that applause were operating on me and getting Felix out," Deborah said.

Due to Covid restrictions at the time, Deborah's husband, Morgan could stay for only an hour after their son's birth, which she says was "tricky" following a Caesarean.

She said: "The day after Felix was born, they changed that rule so if he'd been born one day later, Morgan could have stayed overnight."

Postpartum care was under strain, with fewer health visitors able to come to mothers' homes. Deborah was offered an appointment on the Isle of Dogs, more than half an hour away on public transport from her home in Mile End.

She said: "I could barely get out of bed because I was recovering from major abdominal surgery. I just started crying on the phone. And then they said, 'Ok, we'll send a midwife to your house'.

"But that's the only time anyone ever came to our house."

It was a "major challenge" to be locked down in a small one-bedroom flat for the first months of Felix's life and there weren't many opportunities to socialise, which Deborah says was "isolating".

"My family were in Canada so they didn't get to meet Felix until he was a year old," she added.

It was the same for her husband's family, in Ireland. "So we also had no familial support whatsoever," she said.

But as many people found, through the most intense two years of the pandemic, Deborah's local community rallied round.

"One of the things that we have kept since the pandemic - people appreciate their neighbours much more than they used to, especially in London."

Just before Christmas 2019, Lisa Bywater, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was six months pregnant.

"I remember hearing reports about Covid - it was all feeling a bit serious. But it sort of felt a bit secondary at the time to what we were dealing with," she recalls.

Her daughter, Connie was born prematurely in January 2020.

She needed a little help with her breathing so stayed in hospital for 10 days, during which time Lisa had to leave her in intensive care to go for MRI scans ahead of cancer treatment.

"It was just a very weird experience," she said.

Lisa had five months of chemotherapy, followed by surgery and radiotherapy during the lockdowns.

"I joke about it but as soon as I had my diagnosis, I remember thinking, it's not going to be the maternity leave I expected - I'm going to be isolated, I'm going to be locked down - and then everyone else just joined me!"

Like so many mothers during that time, there was little support while so vulnerable.

"Family couldn't come and visit - they were too scared because they didn't want to put me at risk. I saw my dad a few times, he'd drive up, we'd sit outside, we'd go to the park - but that's about all we could do.

"We didn't get to go to any of the groups that you'd normally plan to go to or just get out and about in London. Also, as a second time mum, I felt a bit more confident and I was really looking forward to having a baby who let me watch a film at baby cinema. It was not to be."

But she looks at the experience with gratitude, five years on and recognises that there was more time spent together as a family, including having discos in the living room.

The pandemic put everything into perspective and Lisa, from Forest Hill, still feels a "sense of wonder" at the daily things we can do now without restriction.

As the nation went into lockdown, Michelle Arellano-Meza was pregnant, at home in Hertfordshire with a toddler, trying also to work. She had had some complications in her second pregnancy and developed prenatal anxiety.

"As my anxiety grew, all the nets and the services and the support were shutting down," she said.

"It was a very scary time. At that moment there was no vaccine and a lot of pregnant people were dying - very ill in the ICU, so it was something playing in the back of my mind."

An ultrasound in June 2020 showed that her baby was bigger than the gestational age, which could result in a premature birth. Michelle went into labour six weeks early and her baby had to go straight to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).

"From beginning to end, everything was bad. I was taken to the labour and delivery suite and left alone. There were no midwives with me or anybody. I was video calling my husband who was sitting in the car park, 50 metres from where I was, not being able to come in."

Michelle says she had a traumatic birth, suffered birth trauma and then her anxiety evolved into postpartum depression. It was difficult to find the help she needed.

"But it was really nice to see online communities emerge. All those services that were shutting down were replaced by loads of online communities. And it is not the same, it is not the best - but it's something. And without them, I don't think that I'd be here."

Five years on, the Facebook group of new mums she met then still talk to one another and watch their children grow up.

Michelle joined research groups as a patient engagement partner because, she says, "I don't think that it was something that anybody should go through, ever".

"It helps me also heal, part of that trauma. Just knowing that it wasn't my fault - it takes a huge weight off my shoulders. But it takes time."

Listen to the best of BBC Radio London on Sounds and follow BBC London on Facebook, X and Instagram. Send your story ideas to [email protected]