'We lost 50% of our patients' - Covid nurse

"There were a lot of staff who lost family members. We lost colleagues within our organisation - and that is something I hope I never have to do again in my working lifetime."

The Sandwell and West Birmingham Hospitals NHS Trust was one of the most affected trusts in the country through the Covid pandemic, at one point operating at 350% of its normal capacity, according to a spokesperson.

Rebecca O'Dwyer, joint clinical lead in critical care services for the organisation, was on the front line throughout, treating patients in intensive care.

Ms O'Dwyer was recently chosen to give her testimony in a special event hosted by NHS Charities Together to mark five years since the start of the pandemic.

"I watched staff put on their PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) outside physically shaking. People didn't want to get out of their cars. They'd stop and vomit on the way to work," Ms O'Dwyer said in her testimony.

Speaking to BBC Radio WM, the lead nurse said staff were scared of catching the virus and taking it home to their families.

"People didn't want to take the virus home...so a lot of our staff moved into hotels and stayed there for months. They [were] dealing with this in isolation," she said.

Ms O'Dwyer also spoke about how people's emotions changed during different waves of the pandemic.

During the first wave, she said staff were scared of the unknown, wondering how big of a beast Covid-19 would become.

"Whereas the second wave, we knew a bit more what to expect," she said.

"But we lost 50% of our patients. On the worst day I remember we lost six patients in one shift. A lot of the trauma [for] staff came from [this wave]."

One of the most traumatic aspects of the pandemic for intensive care staff was the fact that families were not allowed to be in hospital with their critically ill or dying relatives, Ms O'Dwyer said.

"So the staff became their person," she said.

"You would have people singing Happy Birthday through an iPad to someone on a ventilator, with the nurse holding the iPad up.

"Or someone passing away and the family not being able to be there and they're watching their relative die through an iPad."

Ms O'Dwyer said many hospital staff were still living with the trauma from the pandemic, pointing out that a wellbeing survey carried out with intensive care staff found "quite dramatic numbers of staff demonstrating signs of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)".

"They likened it to army personnel returning from active duty," she said.

"The day in, day out exposure to the number of people being lost to this awful disease."

However, she remembered the support she felt from the wider community.

"When it was happening I felt very much the community wrapped around us," she said.

"People were wearing PPE for 12 hours a day, getting pressure damage on their face, their hands were getting sore from the constant washing - and people would send in gifts of hand cream and face cream - and so much food," she said.

"Children would do drawings and send them in and those were the things that were really touching."

Five years on, Ms O'Dwyer said creating collective memories of that period in time was important.

"Remembering the pandemic helps create shared narrative of it," she said.

"I think that's important for future generations to understand the challenges of what we went through."

Follow BBC Birmingham on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram.